Just before you breakup đź’”
I know it has been a while since my last medium post on relationships and breakups. I honestly wish I can promise you some consistency, but I am glad I am writing this piece. If you haven’t read my other piece, you can read it here.
Regardless of how long you have been dating, breakups can be really tough. In fact, folks who end things during the talking stage experience a certain degree of hurt also. Because the breakup truncates the future you see yourself sharing with your partner, and I think for most people, it takes a certain degree of effort to move past it.
I will like to share some rituals I feel you should have just before you break up with your partner:
Say your mind
You have to say what is doing you…lol. I am a huge fan of communication in any relationship and it is important that you communicate how you feel and why you think the breakup is necessary. Tbh, your partner doesn’t need to understand your point of view but he should know the reason you need the breakup and why it is the best thing for you. Also, I should stress that you need to be clear about these things to avoid any form of ambiguity that might arise in the future. For example, if you intend to break up because you cheated on your partner and you don’t see yourself loving your partner the same way anymore, it is important you communicate this reason to your partner and explain to your partner why the relationship will not make sense to you any longer. It will be wrong to use the “it’s not you, it’s me” line (if you know, you know) when speaking to your partner about this.
Define your future
When couples who are deeply in love break up, the tendency is there for them to be silent about their status going forward. That inevitably gives room for them to mess things up and go on this emotional rollercoaster.
So here’s what I think. When you break up, communicate to your partner what you want your relationship to be like after the breakup. Do you want to be friends (I strongly advise against this) or you will be cutting communication completely or you would rather be friends with benefits? Get the status clearly defined to avoid stories that touch.
Be sad and cry
I believe that a breakup is a grieving process and most people don’t manage that process well. Some people go on to have multiple rebounds after a breakup, others move on to party hard and flex dirty, others become closer to God..lol. But all these might not help you through your “grieve”. And I personally think that’s why a lot of people become dysfunctional lovers in their next relationship because there is a piece of baggage from the past that they are still holding on to.
I honestly think you should cry as much as you want to, be sad if you need to be, take some time off and mourn your breakup (sounds too deep…I know) but I really think it helps us move on better.
Thanks for reading this and if you consider this useful, kindly share it with your friends and people around you.
Please note that my thoughts are suggestions and can be adaptable to your unique situation. Don’t take my thoughts on breakup as a rule. Thanks.
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Cheers!
